Blobfish: The Name Says It All

Typically, I draw little caricatures for these posts, but when the thing I’m writing about looks like this, I don’t have to.

Allow me to introduce the blobfish- a swimming balloon full of jelly that makes its home in the briny deeps off the coast ofAustralia.  I think he looks kinda cute, actually. Well, until you take him out of the water…

Then he looks like a melted head.

The blobfish practically melts when it leaves deep water, because its flesh really is made out of jelly. While this may not work so well on land, it’s a great adaptation for a world under thousands of pounds of pressure. See, most fish have a gas-filled organ called a swim bladder that keeps them at the proper buoyancy. The problem is gas compresses under pressure. The farther down you go, the less a swim bladder does to keep you floating.  The blobfish’s jelly-flesh is less dense than water, letting it float where other fish would be squished. That’s why they start doing impressions of Marvin whenever they have to go out on the town.  

  And you know what? I think I know why they’re so sad all the time. (Well, other than because they’ve been dragged out of the water into an environment where their flesh melts and they can’t breathe.) It’s because they’re always getting caught by lobster fisherman, and the mean old fisherman just throw them back!

“Oh,” say the fisherman. “You’re not actually edible and you kind of remind me of my uncle Joe, so I’m just going to toss you back now.”

What do you think that does to an impressionable young blobfish’s self-esteem, hmm? How would you feel if you were constantly being called inedible and being compared to Uncle Joe?

No, seriously, how would you feel? I do have a comments section and people are welcome to use it.