Zombie Safety Series: Gaylord College

Alright, this was fun for a while, but I’m running out of buildings I’m familiar with, so the Safety Series is coming to a close soon.

Anyways, let’s take a look at Gaylord. Walk in through the big, lovely, glass front doors and you will be confronted with a big, lovely, indestructible staircase that provides easy access to all three of the building floors. On a normal day, that’s great. But, during a zombie attack? Not so much.  

While there are doors that could be used to close off portions of the building, there are a lot of indefensible ways in and out on the bottom floor. The elevators could be shut down, and the smaller staircases could be locked, but there’s no way to keep the advancing horde off that main staircase once they’re in the building.

The only food supply is on the bottom floor, too. Not that you should stick around long enough to need food. Once the zombies get in, you need to get out, ‘cause there’s no way to make this building safe.

When it’s time to flee, you do have one advantage. Gaylord College is full of writers. If there’s one group guaranteed to have zombie survival plans, it’s writers. Any fiction writer is guaranteed to have at least three escape routes, five cure hypotheses, and twenty-seven makeshift anti-zombie weapons close at hand. (And that’s when there aren’t any zombies around.)

You’ll need a good plan, too. That third floor won’t be easy to get out of once the staircases are lost. And, again, you cannot defend those staircases.

Here’s the breakdown of Gaylord College’s safety rating:

Pros-

• Fellow refugees highly likely to be prepared for this scenario

Cons-

• No way to secure main part of building
• Meager food supply
• Giant staircase provides horde with easy access

Overall Zombie Safety Series Rating: 3 4/7 out of 11. Zombie Snack Pack